Tuesday, November 22, 2011


a single embrace
is enough to remind me
to submerge me
into memories
of what we use to have

i could drown in you now
and die happy

Sunday, November 13, 2011


Labels. Stereotypes. We all know what they are and what the do. And we use them.
We like to classify and categorize everything in or world, from movies to music to aisles in the grocery store.
Order is the direct product of labels. People like order. They like to group things together and brand them as fitting into that category, labeling everything.  And everything labeled has its place, and everything must be in the right place. This is order.
And when I say people label everything, I mean everything. People label people. People label themselves, assigning certain terms to define who they are.

I despise labels.
This is clearly reflected in my life.
All of the music in my iTunes library is void of genres; I see music as far too complex a thing to be categorized.  My house is a mess; everything's "right place" is wherever the hell I put it down last.  Even my school folders, that at some point were designated for different subjects, now hold calculus quizzes, philosophy papers, and biology notes all in the same sleeve.
I see the world as a complex and indefinite place that cannot be labeled, defined, categorized, or stereotyped.
People try to manipulate the world into categories to create their own order, without stopping to realize, the world has its own perfect order.  Maybe things aren't put into folders in filing cabinets with stickers indicating every classification like some people would like.
But the world keeps spinning, and all of its processes and reactions follow through perfectly without a human hand involved.  People need to learn to accept things as they are without organizing and compartmentalizing everything: just let it happen.

As much as I despise labels, words have been assigned to me throughout my life to determine who I am, some positive, some not so much. And, regrettably, something as complex as a human being cannot be understood or introduced without a few labels.  So here are some words that have been following me for a good portion of my recent life:

girl. daughter. student. sister. friend. ex-girlfriend. ex-fiance. friend with benefits. blonde. skinny [in everyone's eyes but hers]. relatively short. sad eyes. curious. creative. smart. patient. caring [often far too much]. vegan. pothead. ditz. [sometimes recovering, always struggling] anorexic. cutter [but less than she used to be]. fuckup. ambitious. hopeful. often forgotten. scared of being alone. solitary. shoulder to cry on. good listener. poor speaker. writer. singer. artist. considerate. [sometimes too] honest. introspective. own worst critic. never complacent. trustworthy. always follows through. never gives up on anyone [even when she knows she should]. [too] forgiving [unless she has to forgive herself]. loves hugs. loves walking. dying to feel loved. dying to feel more alive. and dying. just dying.